A Seattle lady describes how a seemingly regular Hinge date spiraled right into a state of affairs that required her mates to bodily intervene to maintain her secure.

On Dec. 6, Violet Urffer (@ultravioletwavelengths) posted an in-depth video describing the Hinge date. “Let’s talk about one of my worst first dates I’ve ever been on,” Urffer mentioned. 

She explains that the person initially had a stable impression as dinner went effectively. The chemistry felt pure, and nothing about his conduct stood out as overtly regarding. “I’ve been on a lot more awkward dates for sure,” she mentioned, noting that this one really felt promising. 

Feeling snug, she invited him to satisfy her mates afterward. She mentioned that is one thing she usually did as a result of it felt like a built-in security measure. “If my friends are there, then it’s safer, you know?” she defined.

Why Did Urffer’s Hinge Date Take a Turn For the Worse?

The first crimson flag appeared when he requested about her “type,” and he or she gave a imprecise reply. He then tells her that his kind is “usually Asians,” however that she “clear[s] all of them.” 

“I don’t clear a whole race,” she mentioned afterward, nonetheless shocked by the remark. “Why are we comparing people by appearance?”

Things escalated quickly at a bar later that night time when Urffer was standing close to considered one of her roommate’s mates, and the Hinge date made a hateful comment. “That guy looks like a [f-slur],” he mentioned, in accordance with Urffer. 

When she confronted him, the state of affairs turned unstable. He grew defensive, raised his voice, and insisted he was allowed to say it as a result of he has homosexual mates. She explains that the argument drew consideration, and her roommate quickly realized one thing was very improper. According to her roommate, he made a motion that regarded like he was about to hit her. “She was genuinely very concerned,” the girl mentioned. “She thought he was going to hurt me.”

Even after leaving the bar, he adopted them exterior, screaming in her face and attempting to go house together with her. “I do not [expletive] with being screamed at by a man,” she mentioned. Eventually, her roommate shoved her into an Uber to get her away safely.

How Safe is Hinge?

Urffer’s account of occasions just isn’t an remoted incident, and the video’s feedback echo her warning round relationship apps concerning security. “The bar is in hell,” wrote one commenter.

“Seattle is so amazing in so many ways,” added one other. “But the dating scene is definitely not one of them. It makes no sense it needs to be studied.”

Dating apps like Hinge market themselves as safer, extra intentional options to swipe-first platforms. However, tales like this underscore how restricted these safeguards could be as soon as a match strikes offline. Hinge encourages customers to satisfy in public, share plans with mates, and report abusive conduct by way of its in-app instruments, and the app has rolled out options like date check-ins and the flexibility to dam and report customers straight from a chat or profile. 

Still, critics argue these measures are reactive somewhat than preventative, putting the burden of security largely on customers to acknowledge hazard in actual time.

That concern isn’t unfounded. Reports and lawsuits in opposition to Match Group, Hinge’s mum or dad firm, have alleged that relationship apps have did not adequately reply to studies of harassment, hate speech, and even violent conduct, permitting some customers to stay lively regardless of a number of complaints. As this story illustrates, crimson flags don’t all the time seem in profiles or early messages. They floor in particular person, typically after alcohol is concerned, and infrequently escalate shortly.

Hinge’s security instruments might help after one thing goes improper, however they will’t substitute situational consciousness, neighborhood help, or the intuition to go away when one thing feels off. Until relationship apps take stronger preventative motion, security will stay one thing customers should construct for themselves, one cautious determination at a time.

AllHipHop reached out to Urffer for remark by way of TikTok direct message and Hinge for remark by way of electronic mail. This story might be up to date if both celebration responds.

@ultravioletwavelengths
music/original-sound-7580621094617385742?refer=embed”>♬ unique sound – violet

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